ojer8881

Teacher
Why do school teachers make the best wives?
Because if they're not happy the way you did it, they make you do it over and over again.


Super Pussy
An ederly man is waiting for his wife to come to bed. While he is waiting, she decides to add a little spice into there 50 year marriage. She gets completely naked and throws on her robe, for a little flying adventure. She comes out of the room at top speed, rips off her robe and yells, SUPER PUSSY!!! The man looks at her and says "I'll have the soup!"




The Dogs
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's, discussing why they were there. The first dog, a poodle, told his woeful tale.
"My owners bought the great new sports car with leather seats. They took me for a ride in it one day, and I was so excited, I couldn't help myself. I wet all over the backseat. I'm here to be put down." The other two dogs nodded sympatheticly, then the second, a Kelpie, explained his situation.
"A brand new Persian rug had just been placed in the loungeroom, and it was very expensive. My owners made a big fuss of it, when it came. Then, once when I was in the room, I had an incredible urge to roll all over it. So I did, and ended up getting quite a bit of my fur over the mat. My owners were very annoyed, and sent me here to be put to sleep." The other two dogs nodded, and the first dog asked the third, a German Shepard, what he was there for.
"My owner has this habit o f cleaning the house in the nude, and once when she was cleaning under the sofa, I just couldn't help myself. I jumped on and had the ride of my life." The other dogs tut-tutted.
"So you're here to be put down too?" he asked. The Shepard shook his head.
"No, just to get my nails clipped!"




The Golf
In a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The attendant at the pump greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.


"Top of the mornin' to yerz, sir" says the attendant.


Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.


"What are dey den, son?" asks the attendant.


"They're called tees" replies Tiger.


"Well, what on de good earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman.


"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger.


"Well", says the Irishman, "Dem boys at BMW tink of everything.




The Potatoes
Frenchie finds himself on vacation in Florida. He goes to the beach to cruise some cute American girls. Having no luck, he sees this blond Apollo type American lifeguard surrounded by Baywatch beauties. Hey you Monsieur the Americain! says Frenchie, how to you get all zee beautiful ladies like that? The American lifeguard replies, listen Frenchie, our girls like to see a big bulge in our bathing suit. Try putting a big potato in your swim trunks, and you'll see what I mean.
10 minutes later Frenchie comes back to the lifeguard, his face now a bright red. You American, you lied to me. I put zee big potato in my trunk, but all zee ladies, they all slapped my face hard. The lifeguard smiling replies...Oh Frenchie! the potato, it goes in the front..NOT IN THE BACK!

楼主这样的笑话最好给翻译一下就好了，否则真的很难啊！！！